(or, Making Your Mistakes With Confidence)

By Caroline Hang Hong

When I was 8 or 9, I was getting ready to perform at a piano concert. My piano teacher watched me as I nervously struggled through my piece, making mistake after mistake. And every time I hit a wrong note I would pause momentarily and turn to him displaying a look of horror or apology on my face. Finally, he couldn’t bear watching me suffer any more; ‘move over’ he said. And we swapped chairs.

He played me a beautiful piece of music; he played it loudly, confidently, with expression and passion, swaying as he played. And every now and then he would drop in the most horrendous discord – a huge glaringly obvious mistake that made me cringe.

But, he didn’t change the way he played at all; he carried on as if nothing had happened, in fact if anything he played even more confidently, and by the end I wasn’t reacting at all to the dud notes.

When he finished he turned to me and said; ‘when you make a mistake, always make it with confidence’.

This January I started back at regular karate training after taking about 5 years out to have our two children. I had graded to black belt about 18 months prior to falling pregnant, and had taught the Wickford class until I was 8 months pregnant.

When I returned I had forgotten a lot, I was generally unfit and my body was not the same one I had before. We had made the change from being a split style to solely Goju, and the white and yellow belts were doing katas I had never seen. High grade sparring was suddenly up close and personal with a lot of takedowns and groundwork. And there were past students of mine that were now Shodan, Nidan, and just so damn tall (you know who you are)!

Intimidated? Yes I was. Did I show it? Not in public. Why?

Because you have to fake it ‘till you make it, face the fear, sit in the dark and know you are totally out of your depth and agree with yourself that you are going to make a lot of mistakes, but, you are going to make those mistakes with confidence!

That means that although sparring younger, stronger guys who hit hard frightens the life out of you, you will do it anyway. Although standing up and performing a basic kata that you really don’t know threatens to make you feel so humiliated you just want to curl up in a corner – you do it anyway. Because wearing a black belt while struggling to learn a different set of basics that the yellow belts do very well makes you cringe inside – you do it anyway.

Because when you do it anyway, you get better.

Fake it ‘till you make it is not about arrogance, or pretending you know something when you clearly don’t. It’s about a ‘can do’ attitude, a commitment to your own improvement, a quiet confidence that you can take on anything and you will be able to cope and thrive, and an acceptance that you will make a lot of mistakes along the way.

So, is this relevant to you? What do you think?

Do you make sure you are partnered with your friend for kumite because the 6-foot bloke in the blue belt scares the socks off you?

Do you avoid competing in tournaments because performing in front of a crown terrifies you?

Do you constantly chatter during partner work because you are nervous of getting the exercise wrong? Do you profusely apologise every time you do?

Do you shy away from special classes with guest instructors because the subject matter is new, and you may have to train with strangers?

Do you argue with your instructor when he says you’re ready for grading?

Do you pause momentarily and turn to your instructor displaying a look of horror or apology when you make a mistake in kata?

Maybe…?

Welcome to the club, you’re in good company. In a couple of weeks a fresh, shiny new year will begin, a lot of folks will set themselves new year’s resolutions, and us karate lot will be setting ourselves some new goals. Maybe ‘Fake it ‘Till you Make It’ should be yours?

Iain Abernethy shared a wonderful comment on Facebook recently, which I will be taking as my resolution for 2014 – ‘Commit To Awesomeness’. You can have that one too if you like.

Osu

Caroline Hang Hong

By Kim Mandy

What is support? This is the ability to give assistance and help. This includes talking to each other, working with each other & listening to each other. It can vary from pro-active in which we jump around, scream and shout; to those on the quieter side who also support in their own way, mostly “behind the scenes”. Both of these are valuable and necessary for our club to continue to grow and become bigger and better; and above all to help the students become better and continue in their training journeys to achieve all that they can.

How can we support others in their training? By supporting and helping others we are also helping ourselves improve and further our learning process; whether it is by taking advice from instructors or fellow peers (students). In order to achieve this we need to communicate, work with each other and if necessary ask for help!

Training support structure consists of a combination of peers and mentors who help you to progress in your training. Support structure consist of instructors who you train with regularly or periodically, fellow students you discuss ups and downs of your training with and your training partners who help you push yourself past your limits and provide relative resistance and pressure to your training.

At every class the support network kicks in automatically as you will find the higher grade or more experienced student will assist or aid you in correction and help in improving your abilities. More often than not students are paired up with someone of a higher or more advanced level who will show the way and will help where necessary and in return the lower grade or more inexperienced student is also helping the more advanced student.

Without a training partner some techniques or new skills cannot progress. This is also true for the support of your club. Without students, instructors and parent or spectator support, a club of any kind would not exist. Support in various ways helps the growth and continuation of any club and especially with our club Seitou Ryu, we are a “family” and therefore have an excellent support network including all the above, i.e. instructors, parents and above all students. An example of this was shown through the generous support when we had our sponsored bike ride in order to purchase our training mats! Thank you to all who supported the club (and the students & parents who took part in the bike ride too!).

With training partners/fellow students, finding someone who has been or is at the same stage of training where you want to be can help you find your way faster than you might on your own. To be a good, supportive training partner you need to be accessible and need to care as much about your training as each other. You need to show trust and respect for each other, encouraging each other, helping each other and giving necessary assistance and you need to both have an area which you perform better in than each other so you can help and in turn support each other. You need to be able to ask questions and feel confident in offering advice and assistance. Trust & respect are a big part of support. We need to be able to give good advice and a good supportive training partner knows how to work with you and not against you.

Karate is not a “single-person” sport; it ultimately involves people working together by repetitive training and understanding of the art. We therefore support each other throughout our training journeys. As a fellow student we support our peers through mental and physical encouragement; as an instructor we support our students by physically helping them, giving encouragement, positive & negative criticism; and above all as parents we support our children in their training by always being there to give them the encouragement and constant reassurance they required. Good advice given to and taken from fellow students helps develop our own training and understanding.

Support given by fellow students, parents & instructors help us develop and progress in our karate journey. A grading is an example of how support can really help a student when under pressure and stresses of their particular grade. Without our fellow peers and mentors there when we need them most we feel let down and somewhat disappointed and sometimes even unable to reach our specific goals. By supporting our club we are in effect helping students improve their skills & abilities and further their training journey.

By supporting and helping others we are also helping ourselves improve and further our learning process.